Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
