Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
