What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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