Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
