Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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