he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
