omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
