Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
