at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
