i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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