You just made me feel so damn special
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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