We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
jump out the window naked night went bad
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