I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
