Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
