I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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