you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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