Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
