I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
