I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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