Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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