they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
