loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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