carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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