I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
