ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
