No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
