Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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