Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
