I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hippo gnu deer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
