After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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