ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
