So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
