At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
