I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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