i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
