my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
