Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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