how can u be prego again
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This toilet bowl is my home.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
