It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
