The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
