How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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