He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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