Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
