so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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