So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
