some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
