I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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