do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
