We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
