I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
