I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My ass is underappreciated
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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