Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
