i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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